Gonna break it down, so sit back, be cool,
'Bout all the crazy happenin's at Williamsburg School.
It's spring an' the soccer team's the top of the league,
So now they got the time for some romance an' intrigue.

Calvin's the soccer star, he'll make himself a fool
Over bootylicious Hero who's the queen of the school.
Pedro's the captain an' he's all-around good,
But his evil brother John don't act like he should.
John's gonna make trouble for the lovers if he can
With some help from buddy Spike who thinks he's da man!

Now Beatrice an' Ben, they're both real smart,
Except when it comes 'round to an affair of the heart.
Bea's an independent woman, she got no use for men,
Especially our heartbreakin' ladies' man Ben.
Ben's the school comedian, a big tough jock,
But he's just a fool for love an' you know it's all talk.
The two of 'em wanna hook up with each other,
So their friends'll make a plot to bring the two of 'em together.

We got Dunbar an' Sturgis an' the Student Patrol-
Protectin' Homeland Security is their big role.
When John an' Spike produce all this alienation,
They're gonna spring into action an' save the situation.

We wanna make you laugh, maybe even make you cry-
No sex, no blood, don't nobody die.
Just gonna take you 'long for 'bout a two-hour trip
So y'all can see that love's a big whoop about zip.